Am I Dating a Narcissist? Self-Assessment Quiz Online

This evidence-based quiz helps you evaluate your romantic relationship dynamics, identify potential narcissistic traits (including covert patterns), and explore whether you might be dating someone with consistent narcissistic behaviors. It is for self-reflection only and not a diagnostic tool.

Please read each question carefully and select the answer that best describes your consistent, long-term observations and experiences in your current romantic relationship. Avoid focusing on one isolated argument or moment. Remember, only a licensed mental health professional can provide a formal assessment.

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1. How often does your partner prioritize their own needs, desires, or comfort over yours, with little to no regard for your feelings or boundaries?

Rarely, they consistently consider my needs alongside their own and compromise willingly

Occasionally, but they usually make an effort to adjust if I calmly communicate my concerns

Frequently, their needs always seem to take precedence, and compromise feels one-sided

Constantly, they show complete disregard for my needs, feelings, or stated boundaries

2. How does your partner react when they don't receive consistent praise, admiration, or special attention from you or others?

They're secure and don't require external validation to feel good about themselves

They might feel a bit disappointed or overlooked but move on quickly without drama

They become moody, withdrawn, or subtly complain to get the attention they want

They get angry, defensive, belittle others, or create conflict to refocus attention on themselves

3. Does your partner acknowledge, validate, or show genuine empathy when you're upset, hurt, or sharing a vulnerable feeling?

Yes, they actively listen, ask clarifying questions, and express care without shifting focus

Sometimes, but they might dismiss my feelings if it's inconvenient or redirect the conversation to their own problems

Rarely, they minimize my emotions, say I'm 'overreacting,' or ignore me entirely

Never, they mock, invalidate, or use my vulnerability against me later

4. How does your partner handle even gentle, constructive criticism or feedback about their behavior?

They accept it gracefully, reflect on it, and may even apologize or make changes

They might be defensive at first but eventually calm down and consider the feedback

They become angry, refuse to acknowledge any flaws, or twist the feedback to make it my fault

They launch a full-blown attack, bring up past mistakes of mine, or give me the silent treatment for days

5. Does your partner try to control who you spend time with, what you wear, what you post online, or how you make personal decisions?

No, they fully respect my independence, choices, and right to have my own life

Occasionally they express mild concern but never pressure or punish me for my choices

Frequently, they question my decisions, make negative comments about my friends/family, or try to influence my actions

Constantly, they monitor my activities, dictate my choices, or isolate me from people I care about

6. How often does your partner exaggerate their achievements, talents, or connections to impress others or make themselves look superior?

Almost never, they're humble about their accomplishments and don't feel the need to prove themselves

Sometimes, but it's mild and not excessive or deceptive

Often, they fabricate small details or inflate their role in stories to be seen as 'better' than everyone else

Always, they tell elaborate, often completely false, stories to gain admiration or special treatment

7. Does your partner show genuine, consistent interest in your life, goals, passions, or daily experiences?

Yes, they ask thoughtful questions, remember small details, and celebrate my wins with me

They show some interest but often redirect the conversation back to themselves within a few minutes

Little to no interest, they only engage with my life if it directly benefits them or makes them look good

No interest at all, every conversation, even ones I start, eventually revolves around them

8. How does your partner respond when you clearly and calmly set a personal boundary (e.g., 'I need alone time on Sundays' or 'Please don't call me names during arguments')?

They respect and honor my boundary without question or pushback

They might push back a little at first but eventually comply and respect it long-term

They ignore my boundary, test it repeatedly, or make jokes about it

They get angry, guilt-trip me, punish me (e.g., silent treatment, withdrawal of affection), or accuse me of being 'too sensitive' or 'controlling'

9. Does your partner compare you unfavorably to others (e.g., exes, friends, family members, celebrities) to make you feel inadequate or inferior?

Never, they appreciate me for who I am and don't use comparisons to hurt me

Rarely, and they immediately apologize if they realize they've hurt my feelings

Often, they use subtle or direct comparisons to point out my 'flaws' or make me work harder to please them

Constantly, they belittle me and praise others in front of me to boost their own ego and keep me insecure

10. How does your partner handle mistakes, conflicts, or problems in the relationship?

They take full responsibility for their part, apologize sincerely, and work with me to find a solution

They admit fault sometimes but struggle with full accountability and may deflect a little

They blame external factors, minimize their role, or say 'I'm sorry you feel that way' instead of a real apology

They always blame me or someone else, refuse to take any responsibility, and make themselves out to be the victim

11. Does your partner use gaslighting tactics (e.g., denying events that happened, making you doubt your memory, saying 'you're crazy' or 'you imagined that')?

Never, they're honest, consistent, and respect my perception of reality

Rarely, and it seems unintentional if it happens (e.g., they genuinely forgot a small detail)

Often, they make me question my memory or perceptions of important events

Constantly, gaslighting is a regular, intentional tactic to control me and make me feel like I can't trust myself

12. How does your partner react when you achieve something positive, exciting, or important in your life?

They celebrate with me wholeheartedly, are genuinely happy for me, and make the moment about me

They're happy but quickly shift focus to their own achievements or problems

They feel jealous, dismiss my accomplishment as unimportant, or downplay it

They undermine my success, make me feel bad about it, or create conflict to ruin the moment

13. Does your partner expect special treatment or believe they are entitled to exceptions to rules, social norms, or your boundaries?

No, they treat others fairly, follow rules, and don't expect preferential treatment

Occasionally, but they understand and accept when they can't get their way

Often, they act entitled and get upset or complain if they don't get special treatment

Always, they believe rules don't apply to them and demand preferential treatment from everyone, including me

14. How does your partner behave in social settings with your friends, family, or colleagues?

They're respectful, kind, and engage with everyone equally, making an effort to get to know the people I care about

They're polite but focus more on being the center of attention or impressing others

They dismiss or belittle my loved ones behind their backs or make subtle, rude comments to them in front of me

They actively isolate me from my friends, family, or colleagues by making negative comments, creating conflict, or refusing to attend events with them

15. Do you feel emotionally drained, anxious, insecure, or on edge after spending time with your partner?

Rarely, they bring joy, comfort, and positivity to our time together

Sometimes, but the positive moments in our relationship outweigh the stress

Frequently, their behavior leaves me feeling exhausted, anxious, or questioning my self-worth

Always, every interaction with them leaves me emotionally depleted and on high alert

16. How does your partner react when you express a differing opinion, disagree with them, or stand up for yourself?

They listen respectfully, are open to healthy debate, and may even change their mind if presented with a good point

They get a little defensive but eventually calm down and hear me out

They give me the silent treatment, withdraw affection, or make passive-aggressive comments to punish me

They twist my words, make me feel guilty for disagreeing, or launch a personal attack to shut me down

17. Does your partner often play the victim to avoid accountability, gain sympathy, or manipulate you into doing what they want?

Never, they take full responsibility for their actions and don't use victimhood as a tactic

Rarely, only in extreme, stressful situations where they might genuinely feel overwhelmed

Often, they frame themselves as the victim even when they're clearly in the wrong

Constantly, victimhood is their go-to manipulation tactic to avoid blame and get their way

18. Since dating your partner, have you noticed a significant, consistent decline in your self-esteem, confidence, or sense of self?

No, they make me feel better about myself and encourage me to grow

A little, but it's not a consistent pattern and I still feel like myself

Yes, I often doubt myself, my decisions, and my worth after interactions with them

Completely, I barely recognize the person I've become and feel like I've lost my identity

19. How does your partner handle your emotional or physical intimacy needs?

They prioritize my needs and meet me halfway, ensuring both of us feel comfortable and satisfied

They try but sometimes get distracted by their own needs or preferences

They only engage with intimacy on their own terms, when they want it, and how they want it

They withhold intimacy to punish me, manipulate me, or get what they want

20. Does your partner devalue you, criticize you, or act cold/distant in private, but act loving, charming, and perfect in public?

Never, they treat me the same, with kindness and respect, in both public and private

Rarely, they might be less affectionate in public but never devalue or criticize me

Often, they're sweet and charming to others in public but cruel, critical, or cold to me behind closed doors

Constantly, this hot-and-cold double standard is a regular, intentional pattern to keep me confused and dependent on them